Being alone sucks. I mean being completely alone. My life was legally taken for many years; I was literally dead to the world. I was buried in a cell 20 minutes away from my family’s front door, and never heard or saw any of them roll by to offer up any encouragement of support. Still, I held on to hope.
In one of those cells is where I experienced what I often refer to as my “awakening.” That moment is when my identity died. I was napping during noon count when Loneliness wrapped herself around me and forcibly separated me from everything I ever had, all I ever knew, from everything I thought I understood, in this and other dimensions.
I’m free now but often choose to be alone. My relationship with a woman fell apart a year ago this month, and I’m mostly to blame. I have trouble relating to people and a part of me is always crying. I don’t know why but I cry at least 20 times a day, or more. It’s funny that I can’t have much of a conversation without breaking down. I can’t write anything without shedding tears.
My tears flow from a reservoir, a sadness that’s inundated my soul. I weep for all the travesties people inflict, to themselves and others. I weep for the people I lost, the things I saw, the things I see… I weep for the beings in chains, the ones in prison and the ones stuck inside a bottle. I weep for my sisters and my brothers, the broken spirits laughing at a TV screen while they’re bound up in chains.
Lately, I have come to understand that I am not alone. There are a few folks out there, feeling me and seeing things through my eyes. Ones that are not lulled to sleep with drugs, alcohol or sedatives of their own concoction. This guy, Peter Joseph, put lots of my understanding of things into a movie.
If you’re human, you have to see this, and share it with anyone that values your opinion, your mind. Please…
