I lived, imprisoned in the New Mexico State Correctional System–for 19 years. I was an impulsive, twisted being and it took many years before I stopped entertsining, insanity.
Somewhere in between reality and my sleep, while serving my twenty-something years prison sentence, I had an awakening, an absolutely life changing experience that started in my dreams, and forever left me empty.
While sleeping during count onda ay, in a foggy somber, I slept one sort of grapevine, floating peacfully in some sort of embriones fluid. When someone clipped me off,, and I floated off, alone. I’ve never felt so lonely, as I did that day. My tears were flowing, before I even woke, gazed locked and blurry on the yellow printed cinder blocks of my cell..
I repeatedly put myself in prison and I understood that I was utterly alone. I was buried alive — void of family and friends.
It’s taken years for me to change my destructive habits and approach life with an open mind. I strive to improve daily and stir the longing for understanding in others. I did not walk out of prison as a whole man. A part of my mind and heart often hug the ghostly lives of decent men — men who, with a single impulsive act, deleted hope from many lives.
With the freedom to think and reflect for years, a new attitude began to take shape. I eventually walked out of prison; I am free to be a father, a brother, a son and a neighbor — free to coexist outside of a concrete chamber. I’m learning to accept responsibility, manage my resources, and temper my impulses. Oftentimes, I find myself drained and discouraged — ready to quit and even die. But I will not quit. I will not disrespect my fellow beings. I will continue to put in my share of work for the sake of our children. Lately, I know that a good night’s sleep is uplifting!
